Lauren Mayer doesn’t like your impression of a penis

Lauren Mayer is an award-winning songwriter and entertainer who can make anything, and anyone, funny (at roasts, parties, shows, etc., or on her critically acclaimed albums and videos). Watch her hilarious musical rants Dear Internet Trolls, I Didn’t Come From Your Rib (You Came From My Vagina), and Then You’re A Feminist—and her most recent viral smash, The Sexual Harassment Prevention Song.

Favorite response to a heckler or troll?

Describe your worst gig. 

Getting invited to an audition night by Mitzi Shore at The Comedy Store, doing my cute little songs, and then being followed by a guy who impersonated a penis having its first sexual experience.

On your deathbed, what transcendent advice would you croak at a young female comedian? 

Find your audience—they’re out there!—and hang in there. I’ve become an overnight success after 37 years.

What’s your first impulse when someone says “women aren’t funny”?

“Are you kidding? We couldn’t deal with people who make comments like that without a sense of humor!”

When you were coming up in comedy, what helped you stick with it?

I’m still “coming up”! But I’ve stuck with it because people send me comments on my videos, saying that I help them laugh at the news, or that my songs make them feel better.

Best comedy advice you ever got?

Take your time. (I tend to rush.)

Worst comedy advice you ever got?

You’re too old to do this.

Favorite response to “What’s it like to be a woman in comedy”? 

“Like being a woman in life…”

How has being funny helped you in your offstage life, either recently or when you were younger?

Coping with everything! I recently survived pneumonia-induced sepsis, and I posted regular dark comedy essays as a way of coping…and I coped with being a total late bloomer in high school.

Was there one person who inspired you to become a comedian? 

Tom Lehrer, starting when I was a kid. He wrote such literate, smart songs about current events.

Feelings about the word “comedienne”?

Mixed. It has a cool french feel and sounds smarter, but it’s also diminishing (like “usherette”).

What advice do you have for how to level up from open mics + bringers to actual SPOT-spots?

Get discovered by your site! And hang in there—I’ve been posting topical comedy songs every week for 5+ years, and it just now hit for me.

Lauren Mayer is an award-winning songwriter and entertainer who can make anything, and anyone, funny (at roasts, parties, shows, etc., or on her critically acclaimed albums and videos). Watch her hilarious musical rants Dear Internet Trolls, I Didn’t Come From Your Rib (You Came From My Vagina), and Then You’re A Feminist—and her most recent viral smash, The Sexual Harassment Prevention Song.