Illustration by Leah Laird
Here’s what I always get for Christmas: stumped. Mostly about what to buy my parents. One year my sister and I bought them 10 plates from Crate & Barrel, because we knew they had stuff from there, and we were like, “Wow. This is GENIUS.” Just…plates. On Christmas morning my mom was like, “Our wedding was 23 years ago, but…thanks!?
I also struggle with what I want others to buy for me. My sister once just threw Clif bars in my stocking because she noticed I was eating them on the go before work. The saddest thing was, I actually did kind of need them.
Point is: Gifts, me, bad. However! This year things are gonna CHANGE! Because I asked my fellow GOLD members [***see below!] what gifts they would want to give or get this year. Presto! THE BEST LIST EVER of gift ideas for the female/non-binary comedy lovers in your life. *opens Clif bar* Happy shopping!
We live on screens, but we still love books.
The comedian, writer, singer, and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has come out with a heavily anticipated—and HILARIOUS—auto-biography that will especially sweet laughs and redemption for the theater/Harry Potter nerds in your world. GOLD founder Lynn Harris told me she was listening to it while driving from New York to MA and was so engrossed she literally almost ran out of gas. (SIDE NOTE: OMG RACHEL AND CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND’S ALINE BROSH MCKENNA ARE JOINING US IN THE GOLD CLUB FOR A LIVE Q&A ON DEC 30!)
A funny AND trenchant manifesto from the legendary comic/writer/actor/comedy thought leader. Bottom line: Comics should be able to say anything, as long as it’s funny. (SIDE NOTE: OMG SO IS JUDY GOLD, ON DEC 16!)
Comic Leah Bonnema is salty on stage and sweet on the page! She channeled her pandemic insomnia into cranking out this Kindle rom-com about “delightfully disheveled detective novelist” Mae Robards: perfect for pals who like the Hallmark Christmas vibe PLUS funny!
WAIT there’s a DUDE in here? Yes AND: this book’s main character is the super-winning Winnie Friedman, who—while dealing with her dad’s illness—joins her school’s improv troupe and learns a little (lotta) something about sexism, HERSELF, and, well, comedy. Very real, very funny.
In which Zelda Bailey-Cho goes to improv camp and learns a little (lotta) something about toxic masculinity, HERSELF, and, well, comedy! Half light, half dark, 100 percent relevant.
Not new, but timeless—and we ♥️ the multitalented Mindy (also a comic, storyteller, and more)! Her YA novel has been described as “full of wit, wisdom, heart, and a hilarious, unforgettable heroine” (HEY JUST LIKE MY LIFE!)
#Shygirlproblems meet standup camp meets a highly awkward WEB OF LIES. Meet Yumi Chung and relate, cringe, laugh!
This book is NOT FUNNY. It’s a dystopian YA novel set in a 2023 that’s even more hostile to immigrants than 2020. REALLY not funny! But novelist/performer Abby Sher is—she has taught our classes and written other great books. (And Paola Mendoza—film director and co-founder of the Women’s March is, of course, a force.)
The latest hilarity from “one of our country’s most fierce and foulmouthed authors” (Amber Tamblyn). This humor essays book is perfect for the comedy lover in your life or really just anyone who needs a good laugh. Which is everyone.
The perfect gift for someone ISO “a grown-up spin on the quintessential children’s joke book.” Jessica drops hilarious jokes, puns, wordplay, and even the fine art of the limerick.
FOOD AND DRINK
Every day this year has felt like five days. And there’s no better way to combat than with these cute little wine pourers! Chill out, take a breath, and get those funny ideas flowing.
Move over, cronuts. Janie came out of years of homelessness and addiction to blow our minds with crust-forward cookies that deliver (arguably) the best part of the pie. Other goodies too!
Perfect for your own two-drink minimum while all the clubs are closed. Support this women-run company and get in on the festive cocktail magic!
I’ve kind of become a tea snob and I’m not ashamed. I drink coffee because I need it in my veins, but tea? Tea is truly a gift. Tea Please also has tons of flavors from dessert teas to herbal, so the choice is yours!
The Notes app on your phone is okaaaay, but really, every comedy nerd needs a notebook. Try this big, purty one from Bando!
How’re you gonna get that comedy gold down without some beautiful writing utensils to inspire you? Doesn’t a good pen (like these beauts from Muji) just make you want to write even if you might not have anything to say? (Yes, yes it does.)
Throw it back to the days of heavy quar with these fun lil’ fun mini food puzzles (by Areaware, via Food52). Puzzles: Such an underrated way to do something relaxing while staying off your phone. Feed your brain, then go for a snack.
by the Diana Kane Boutique. This shirt is *chef’s kiss* If nothing else, grab it because Samantha Bee has one! (Spot Sam here.) ICONIC.
Carry all the things you could possibly need (even just around your house) while also honoring our late lord and savior RBG. Love you and miss you.
Something about wearing custom jewelry really makes me feel like a boss b*tch. That thing was made for you! So help someone you know make a name for themselves with these swellegant baubles.
Makeup should be for anyone and everyone. Look to Fluide for beauteous makeup for all gender identities! Make any loved one look stunning, even on Zoom.
Anywhere is a party when you have a portable disco for your phone. Imagine this in a Zoom comedy show? Imagine this little gadget anywhere? It’s an instant crowd pleaser for sure.
The perfect thing to throw in a Plastics-worthy stocking: classic jokes to remind yourself that….at least you’re not in the Burn Book?
As seen in Cool Mom Picks. Yep, folks, the best for last. What comedy lover wouldn’t want to join a group of powerful, kind women/non-binary folks doing what they love: taking courses together, writing jokes of all kinds and sharing them, in low-key workshops AND hi-larious performances! Even if you dream of being alone on a stage, you can’t really get there without a community of support. Support that you can find right here!
Other good gift ideas for the jokers in your world?
Let us know @goldcomedy!