My long-term boyfriend and I just broke up after 2 years. Even though it ended civilly, I’m still in love with him. I’m also having trouble being alone after so many years of having someone. I could really use some advice.
– Broken Up
Dear Broken Up,
This is seriously so hard! Thank you for reaching out. Breakups fucking SUCK and can mess up your brain for months. Just some reminders: you are sexy, smart, and so damn funny. This will suck for a while but will also be insane character development.
Ok, let’s jump in:
Let’s first talk about being alone. Yes, after a breakup you are more alone in the sense that one person you consistently talked to (and locked lips with) is not there. But, think of this as an opportunity to explore your other relationships and meet new people!
Say hi to that hot guy in your stats class who you were too scared to talk to before. Go on some adventures with your long-term friends and talk about anything but your ex. Reach out to the homie you lost touch with freshman year and get drunk on four locos in a public park! You are so far from being alone and this is a time to rely on your tried and true support systems and create some new ones too.
But also being alone is not so bad, I’d even argue it’s awesome. There’s no need to compromise or do anything you don’t want to. You simply have to please yourself and keep building your mysterious, sexy aura.
After a recent breakup, I went on the dates I had planned, but all by myself. So, go! Go to museums, cafes, sex dungeons, book stores, etc., and I think you’ll find these activities to be equally fulfilling. Get to know the voice inside your head. She rocks.
Now, for the harder stuff: still being in love. Everyone gives the same advice to those recently broken up, and it’s that things will get better with time. They’re not wrong, but there are ways to make it easier.
Don’t reach out, you are way too sexy for that.
If you feel the need, write letters to them and then BURN THEM. Nothing says “I’m over you” better than literal fire.
Feelings are intense and amazing, but they’re also totally temporary. That’s the most important thing to think about. All the shittiness you feel inside will not be with you forever.
We will love again and again and again as long as our stupid little human brains are turning.
But seriously go get yourself a good snack like a Boston Cream Donut and call your mom to rant. You got this.