Help! I’m crushed! #AskAvery
Dear Avery,
There’s something so exciting about a new crush: getting excited seeing him in the hallway, daydreaming about our kids, fake kissing my hand to practice for him. The only problem is, he has no clue I feel this way. Any tips about making the first move?
Your Friend,
Move it or Lose it
Dear Move it or Lose it,
Your life is about to get so much easier. Promise. Making the first move is SO much better than waiting, playing hard to get, or ignoring until he makes eye contact with you.
I actually think the secret to getting anything you want in life lies in the first move. But, it’s something that, unfortunately, women are less inclined to do. But you are in great hands to start your going-after-shit journey. Let’s get it.
Fake it
One of the main reasons why people don’t make the first move is fear. Now, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that rejection feels great, but I am here to tell you that if you pretend not to care long enough, you start to actually not care.
The false sense of confidence one day will magically transform into actual confidence (and to be honest, no one knows the difference anyway). So pretend you’re just cosplaying as Girl That Would Go Up to a Cute Guy at a Party and say hello.
Remember the stats
One study shows that only 1 in 10 women are likely to make the first move. A lot of times when I’ve gone up to guys and literally just started talking to them, they were so taken aback that they instantly fell in love with me.
But seriously, making the first move sets you apart in a way that chunky flip-flops will not. I don’t mean to quote every corny women’s help website but, confidence is hot. But it’s also a secret, clearly underutilized, weapon.
Think of the worst-case scenario
Normally I would never tell you to imagine the worst. But, in this case, the worst thing that can happen is “No.” And if he says no, imagine how much he’ll be kicking himself when you’re accepting your Emmy.
If you had waited and waited and waited for this guy to come up to you, you would have been stuck waiting. This isn’t the DMV, you got the reins. Once you know where he is at, you can MOVE ON, and look hot doing it.
So my main message is: sure, you could wait for life to happen to you, or you could happen to life.
Damn, that was a good line.
Love,
Avery
