What the Emmys got wrong

For those of you who care more about life than television: First of all, do you just have like…so much time to sleep, or? Second of all, Emmy nominations came out this week! 

What is an Emmy? That’s easy, it’s the thing Liz Lemon threatens to cut Kenneth with “so bad you’ll have a chin! You’ll all have chins!”


Let’s start with what the Emmys got really really really wrong this year.

The following shows received ZERO Emmy nominations. Which is at least, like… three fewer than they deserve.

Reservation Dogs

As far as I’m concerned, this was the breakout show of the year. A hidden gem no longer as every major industry news source labels this show a firm “snub.” 

But for me…who gives a flying EF BALL about Yellowstone (the #1 most watched TV show in America this year) getting snubbed when the performances of Devery Jacobs and Paulina Alexis are ignored. 

Plus, I was ready to see the Uncle from this show and the Janitor from Abbott for Guest Actor go head to head for Guest Actor… alas, maybe in another, better, life. 

The Other Two

It’s for my own benefit (and yours) that I am able to get two of my three rage spirals out of the way early. The three shows I’m willing to follow into a true battle this year are Rez Dogs, Other Two, and WWDITS (soon). 

The second season of The Other Two is a perfect season of TV. This is a tragic, baffling slight. Maybe I don’t believe in magic or the Emmys anymore, now. 

Girls5Eva

Another remarkable season two glow-up goes ignored. If you slept on the first season of Girls5Eva, you probably missed the boat on season two, too. There is so much to love here: Paula Pell in every scene, Lil Stinker’s fall and subsequent country-issance, The Property Brothers, and Heidi Gardner’s masterful work as a PTA mom. 

The jokes are fast and on fire. The Emmys suck and this show rocks! 

We Are Lady Parts

Another “hidden gem” gets ignored! Tale as old as time. Instead of writing and reading little lists like this, should we storm the Emmy Castle? Let me know when…I’m pretty busy, but for Lady Parts, I’ll rally!! 

Dickinson

The final season of this Apple TV biopic got about as much critical acclaim as Emily Dickinson did while alive. But it deserves the posthumous Dickinsonsian praise!! 

Life & Beth

Everybody loves Amy Schumer when she’s the LIFE of the party, but ignores her when she’s the BETH of the party. And that sucks! 

Somebody Somewhere

When will charming little comedies get their moment? This show offers up a tug-at-your-heartstrings tone that so often gets critically ignored in films. Sad that the television academy isn’t making space for these quirky shows. 

Ghosts

The only network comedy that came close to Abbott’s charm, ensemble, and viewership was completely ignored. 


On the other hand, here’s what the Emmys got really really wrong. 

What We Do in the Shadows

An Outstanding Comedy nomination is NOT ENOUGH. I will DIE on this hill, only to be reborn as a terrible, Lovecraftian horror who will stop at nothing to get every single butt in seats for this show. It is one of my favorite shows ever. These actors (ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!) deserve their due for season three (which was incredible). 

Station Eleven

One of my favorite books got adapted into a mini-series! My expectations were high. The show rose higher. Incredible writing and acting took us through the terrible, twisty, turny story of this post-pandemic world. 

Dave Chappelle: The Closer

Fuck off, Dave.

Alison Jones

How does this woman not just get an Emmy every year? She IS nominated, but why even have the comedy casting category when we could just call it the Alison Jones award?


And finally on the third hand (not your right or left, but your rieft hand):

Here’s what the Emmys got really wrong. 

Selena Gomez

I’ll never forget the first time my roommates and I walked by three trailers on the Upper West Side. Martin Short? Cool! Steve Martin? Woah! Selena Gomez? What show could this BE and how will Selena stand up to these Titans?

Well, she nails it. 

The White Lotus

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was okay! Pretty good, even! But…. too many noms, here. 

Ted Lasso

….I don’t….GET IT!! I DON’T GET IT, OKAY?! I watched the whole thing–inhaled it in two sittings–I liked the show. But I didn’t love it! And I didn’ t come close to the place that the Emmy voters clearly did… 

…Maybe it’s because I had already watched The Other Two, Reservation Dogs, and What We Do in the Shadows. So, like, I knew what good TV in 2022 was and this AIN’T IT, BOYS!!!

Variety Talk Series

All dudessss! *Electric guitar sound* Yikes!

Stranger Things

I am alone on an island. I understand that the world loves three things: white guys, Marvel movies, and Stranger Things. I just don’t understand WHY?!

Schmigadoon

This lovely little charmer didn’t get completely ignored like so many of its non-musical counterparts. But, it was widely ignored in the major categories which seems like an awful shame for the Emmys to bear on top of everything else. 


Okay, okay, okay. I hear you! You’re saying you don’t have three hands, and I understand that! It’s not my fault! I don’t know very much about people who don’t tweet about the Emmys. 

Here’s what the Emmys totally rocked, if it makes you feel better. 

Abbott Elementary

Yay!!! Finally, America gets to see what it’s like for two equally amazing candidates to battle out an election cycle. Of course, I’m talking about the nominations of Janelle James and Sheryl Lee Ralph. The supporting actress comedy race we all dreamed of! 

Yellowjackets

Okay!! A drama (full of funny ladies) that could have easily been tossed aside for being a bit of a weird little genre-fuck got its due! 

Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers

Okay! Work, little guys! 

Barry

Barry is good, y’all. Not much more to say. Barry says everything Ted Lasso does better. 

A Black Lady Sketch Show

Hell yes! This show has been good from the gate. It took long enough for the Emmys to get on board, but here they are! It’s a two-queen category and both fighters are on the ropes. That mixed metaphor was a fun way of saying: It’s only SNL and ABLSS in this category which is kinda insane. 

Directors who are Women

Yay! But…y’all. It could be better. 

Nailed It!

The Emmys are sort of like the winner of Nailed It! this year. Which is to say, it looks like hell, but mabe it tastes okay? Also thank goodness Nicole and Nailed It! got some nods!!!


Are these takes hot enough for you!! Tweet @goldcomedy to yell at us PLEASE!! I’d love to hold a meeting on how to deal with haters.