Help! I wanna get off the dating apps #AskAvery
Meet Avery. She has 8 years experience as a comedian and 7 years experience as a teenager—and she is here to A your toughest Qs about comedy, family, romance, school, and the meaning of life (maybe). Got a problem you can’t solve or a goal you need help meeting? Ask Avery by DMing @GOLDComedy or emailing info+askavery@gmail.com.
Dear Avery,
I know everyone has a hot girl summer attitude, but can I confess something…? I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!! Problem is, I’m so freaking sick of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Farmers Only, Christian Mingle, etc. How do I find love off the apps?
Catch Me a Catch
Dear Catch,
Had to double check to make sure I didn’t submit this question. I think every single person on this planet is sick of dating apps. Constantly swiping through a stream of “only looking for hookups,” “no tall women,” “I need a kidney”—it’s exhausting trying to find something real. I’ve always wondered how people get married from Tinder. Not exactly the Hallmark movie meet-cute you’re gonna wanna tell your kids one day. “We met on a hookup app, but decided to hook up with just each other …forever.” Aw! 💓
So let’s dive into ways to meet people IRL (as the kids say). My first piece of advice is to live out your own love story. Sounds corny, but bear with me. See a cute barista in a coffee place? Why not slide your number over with the $8 dollars for a small coffee? (I live in NYC.) We fear rejection because we’re human. But you’re the star of your own love story, baby, so WHO CARES?
I am very guilty of waiting in bookstores and parks reading books but secretly hoping the man of my dreams approaches me on a horse, shirtless and … I’m getting ahead of myself. But also I realized that ANYONE can be the shirtless bookstore horse man, or whatever your version of the shirtless bookstore horse man is. As I’ve said in previous articles (see How do I be more confident?), confidence is terrifying—but it’s also the secret to unlocking whatever the hell you want, kinda like manifestation, but real. (Don’t come for me, astrology girls).
So delete the apps, or don’t (if you’re like me and enjoy a little male validation from time to time). But instead of longing, begging, and wishing, try going out there and handing out those digits, or get a burner phone if you’re scared of stalkers like me.
Don’t forget that you are so cool and awesome and anyone would be lucky to have you. The more you put yourself out there (God I sound like my mom) the more you’ll feel comfortable with, well, putting yourself out there. I wish you the best of luck, and the best of love.
Love,
Avery