Help! I don’t wanna graduate high school! #AskAvery

Meet Avery. She has 8 years experience as a comedian and 7 years experience as a teenager—and she is here to A your toughest Qs about comedy, family, romance, school, and the meaning of life (maybe). Got a problem you can’t solve or a goal you need help meeting? Ask Avery by DMing @GOLDComedy or emailing

Dear Avery,

Uh oh, I’m graduating high school and going to college. I can’t do taxes or drive a car or even tie my shoes… Help!

Velcro Sneakers

Dear V.S., 

You GOT this. Even though one life may be ending, a whole new and BETTER life is beginning. Trust me. 

Some people do peak in high school, but I assure you my reader base is not that group. “If you weren’t partying during the pandemic, you didn’t peak in high school” is a quick test. 

College is like high school on steroids, but the good kind. You know how in high school, you can only be friends with the 100 or 300 kids that for some reason your parents decided to live in the same area with? Well, in college you have thousands of kids, which means that when you join a comedy club or start a comedy club, you’ll have a WIDE array of friendships from all around the world. 

Here’s another thing. You know how in high school you had to be a lil’ sneaky kid and tell your mom you were at late night band practice at 11 pm on a Saturday? Imagine leaving the house without your ‘rents knowing where you are all the time. Unless they never turn off tracking. But then again the “Rusty Boot Bar” could be anything.

What I’m trying to say here is that college seems like this spooky weird mystical place of booze and romance and sitting with your friends in the library… and yes it is exactly that! Great guess. Don’t be freaked if you don’t find your crew ASAP—it takes time and you have PLENTY of it. I remember texting my mom my first month of college saying, “I can’t find anyone to sit with, I’m gonna drop out, I hate college.” But boy was I wrong.

College has changed me for the better. I have amazing friends, take interesting classes, and I’m vegetarian. I wish all the same for you.

Finally, I assure you, you can put off taxes, driving, and shoelaces for at least four years.