Help! How do I make friends with boys? #AskAvery
Dear Avery,
Don’t get me wrong, I love my gal pals, but I’m looking to explore friendships with the other gender. The only problem is I don’t know how to make male friends that are strictly platonic. Any advice on making friend boys that don’t turn into boyfriends?
From,
Girl Seeking Boy … Friend
Dear Girl Seeking Boy … Friend,
I think a lot about how television depicts male/female friendships. They almost always end in romance. “How could I not see that Charlie was the love of my life all along? He’s been my friend for 14 years!” is a classic plot point (cough cough New Girl). A lot of people believe that a man and woman can never be just friends. I disagree. I’m here to say it is possible to have male friends that are just that: FRIENDS.
I actually believe this so much that I used to overdo it. I am ashamed to say I used to be one of those “hangs out only with boys because it’s easier” girls. Internalized sexism much? I had made the assumption that guys were more up front with their opinions while girls talked behind each other’s backs. In reality that just meant I would get mercilessly roasted by my friends daily. I can’t go into gender studies and all that right now, because I might give away the ending of a paper I need to write, but there is some truth to the brutal honesty that a boy will give you—sometimes things that you might not want to hear.
So where do you find these male friends? Well, anywhere they’re sold. But seriously—men want female friendships just as much. A girl can give a man a lot of perspective on dating and how to style their hair in a not stupid way. Boys are just people at the end of the day, looking for people to hang out with, just like you and me.
Sure, things could change. You could make out with your male best friend on the last day of school, not like that’s ever happened to me or anything. But guy friends are not scary or weird or different. If there’s someone you like (as opposed to like-like), do friend things with them: hang out in groups (safely), get them to help you move, etc. Don’t overthink it. Go out and make those friendboyships!
Love,
Avery