GOLD’s 2025 Gift Guide for Comedy Nerds
It’s been a rough year for the comedians and comedian-adjacent hotties in your life. They don’t want to send you links of exactly what they want! They want you to do that emotional labor. But you shouldn’t have to! They’re just lazy (And funny! No judgement.). Don’t sweat it, though, Champ. We did the research for you, so you only have to look through this ONE list. Just know that we don’t do this for everyone…just for YOU. Happy Merry to you and yours. You earned it.
Since you can’t wrap Good Hang clips and Amy won’t really fit under the tree, you’ll need these ideas for the comedy-curious goofball in your life.
For the watch-party host… 5 Pints of Jenni’s Icecream – $58
For the diva who shows up in pajama pants… F*ck Off Sleep Mask – $4.50
For the early riser… “Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Abortion” Mug – $22.00
For the hard to please… Surprise Roll – $25
For the swamp-warming… Shrek/Fiona Duck Figure – $5.00
For the hottest bitch you know… Neck Fan – $29.99
For the CEO of Netflix… Deborah Vance Shirt – $27.95
For the sober greaser… Bubble Cigarette – $9.99
For the bored mice that put your clothes on for you in the morning… Portable Retro Mini TV – $59.95
For the pranskster… Faux Condiment Packet – $15.00
For the one with ambitious water drinking goals… Exercising Demons Water Bottle – $39
For the tub… Bath Wine Holder – $17
For the life-long learner… Comedy Book – $18.64
For the next journey down The Artists Way… GOLD Merch – From $15.50
For the one who MUST try standup… Standup Bootcamp + 1st year of GOLD – $499
You HAVE to stop trying to kidnap and put bows on talent agents, babe!! Try these gifts for the comedy-committed cuties in your life instead.
For the one who always borrows your charger…Belkin Powerbank – $55.97
For making lemonade out of life’s you know whats… Meyer Lemon Tree – $71.95
For the one who already thinks they’re famous… Custom Funko Pop – From $40.00
For the things that need to be erased later… Blackwing Pencils – $34
For Mary Todd and her husband Abraham… Oh, Mary! By Cole Escola – $15.00
For the little guy… Hamster Mug – $15
For the zen gardener who is allergic to sand… Speks Crag Putty – $26.95
For the latest writers… The Author Clock – $209
For the girls who just need, like, 20 more minutes, okay?!… Relaxation Candles – $23.96
For the moments right before “we ball”… F*ck It Candle – $22
For the TV-less bedrooms… Projector Screen with Stand – $69.99
For the improv nerds outside of LA… Dropout Subscription – $69.99
For the one who reads on the train… We Had A Little Real Estate Problem – $17.70
For the naked GOLDie you always hang with… GOLD Merch – From $15.50
For the one you wish Lorne would just hire, already… Advanced Sketch Writing + GOLD Membership – $499
